Chorus: Big John... Big John... BIG BAD JOHN!

 

He was 5 foot 3, weighed 182

Biggest little man I ever knew

Big John Georges was his name

and perfect grammar was his claim to fame.

 

I remember big John at the age of three

won the county spelling bee

at the age of 10 he'd already planned

sentences to be diagrammed, big John.

 

The years, they went by one by one,

Big John thought of what was to come

He thought about a job and then at last

he decided to teach an English class.

 

He went to college, learned to count to three

so they gave big John a college degree.

He kept on going, learned to count to 8, so they

gave a teaching certificate to Big John.

 

Degree in hand, he said, "What shall I do?"

We all said, "Son, it's up to you.

When you talk about a job, the limit's the sky."

So he decided to come to Escondido High.

 

He walked to the school, it wasn't very far

Steps in the door, says, "Here I are."

The man in charge, he jumped for joy, he said,

"Your grammar's wrong, but you're our boy, big John."

 

They set John up in room 49A

gave him the regular starting pay.

When big bad John proved his true worth,

his salary came down to earth.

 

In spite of it all, he kept his cool

He became the head English teacher of the school.

He thought of interesting things to say, like

"Put your books and notes away."

 

When he first began, he had a catchy phrase, he said,

"You, my boy, are a mental case."

Down through the years he's gotten a little odd

Now he just calls everybody a clod, big John.

 

Shux, so far I've left out

what I came to tell you about:

The day we studied the London Tower,

Big Bad John had his final hour.

 

How could I forget that fateful day?

We were studying Edward V, I'd say.

We heard a knocking, what could it be?

In walked the fearsome three.

 

Corruption was there, and so was graft

They were dangling participles, fore and aft.

They said, "We're going to destroy what's taught in this class,

if anyone tries to stop us, we'll kick his elbow."

 

Big John was there to answer the call

He loosened his string tie, and let it fall.

He pulled himself up to his full height,

Looked up and said, "I'm ready to fight."

 

The outcome of the fight was never in doubt

for victory he knew the world could not do without.

All knew he'd win, 'twas just a matter of time,

But everybody was afraid it was the end of the line

for Big John.

 

He fought and won on that fateful day,

But this was the battle where he didn't walk away.

For now, forever, for eternity,

His room's a monument for all to see.

 

Behind those doors lie what's left of Big John

but the fight for good grammar keeps truckin' on.

When you pass that room, you walk kinda slow,

and you turn to your friend, and you say, real low...

 

Behind this door lies a big, BIG man... BIG JOHN.